Years ago, when I was entering the workplace after graduating from law school, I dreaded meetings. They seemed to go on forever. They included too many people. Much on the agenda never got resolved. People walked away from meetings frustrated.

One of the leadership blogs to which I subscribe is “The Management Tip of the Day” from the Harvard Business Review. One of their posts from last week reminded me of an important attribute of leaders, balancing vulnerability and confidence.

This past Wednesday night I attended a Jackson Browne concert at Wolf Trap Farm Park in Virginia. The lyrics of Browne’s song, “The Dreamer,” from his new album, “Downhill from Everywhere,” resonated with me:

This past week I was reminded of a powerful lesson I learned several decades ago. It involves the power of including others in our desire to create new habits.

This week I learned that a friend of mine has decided to accept a new job offer after working at the same company for many years

Do you remember Ed Koch? If you’ve never lived in New York City, you might not know his name. For many years, Ed was the mayor of New York City. He was famous for repeatedly asking one question in news conferences and in political commercials, “How’m I Doing?”

Note: This past week, several of my leadership coaching clients concluded coaching engagements. If you are interested in leadership coaching for yourself or a teammate, please feel free to contact me.

The readers of this newsletter know that my favorite phrase – and the motto of my family that I have passed on to my two sons – is that “It’s all about relationships.”

Last week I shared Dr. Mark Taylor’s suggestions for finding and sustaining personal happiness. When Mark (www.taylorprograms.com – amazing presenter!)) and I discussed leadership several weeks ago, we agreed that happy leaders are more inclined to bring positivity into the work cultures that they oversee.

Two weeks ago I gave a presentation for Bluefield Community and Technical College and Eastern Panhandle SHRM in Martinsburg West Virginia. The title of my presentation was “The Essence of Leadership.”

When we are young leaders, we are frequently so convinced of our being right that we do not bother to check in with our teammates. We make statements about our strategy, our decisions, our techniques, and our goals. We rarely pause to ask questions.

During the past decade, many business authors have praised the value of networking. Books, articles and blog posts have lauded the value of networking in helping people secure professional positions.

This past week I was fortunate to watch a webinar hosted by Marva Sadler of WBECS and Coaching.com and featuring one of the leading coaches in the world, Marshall Goldsmith.

Last week I was coaching a client who has a tendency to be hard on herself. She admitted to me that when things don’t go as planned at work, she usually beats herself up about it and thinks about the mistakes she made or the poor decision she made. We established that for much of her career, this mindset has been her default. When things go wrong, she blames herself.

This past week I was gratified to be elected to the board of directors for the Institute for Transformational Leadership Network. That network is affiliated with the Georgetown University leadership training program, from which I graduated seven years ago. Currently, I also sit on the Board of Directors for my synagogue, in Potomac, Maryland.

Throughout my career, I have been complimented on my empathy, my ability to feel what others are feeling and to help them understand that I “get it.”

This time of the year is for religious celebrations. As people across the world celebrate Easter, Passover and Ramadan, we are reminded of age-old themes that resonate today.

This past Monday night the University of Kansas beat the University of North Carolina, 72-69, to win the men’s NCAA basketball championship.

I was going to title this newsletter post “Leaders Think Outside the Box.” However, that is probably one of the most overused clichés in management and leadership today. Rather, I titled this post “Leaders Explore Their Options” for a specific reason.

For the past several years, my son Jared has been interested in leadership books written by former Navy SEALs.

Years ago, when I used to facilitate the “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” workshop, I showed a video to illustrate Habit 7, “Sharpen the Saw.”

During the past month, we have all been amazed by the 360° jumps achieved by Olympic ice skaters. Some demonstrated triple axels. Others soared in quads. Last weekend, basketball fans were treated to 360° windmill dunks by NBA players in the annual All-Star game.

Earlier today, we hosted friends for lunch in our home for the first time in a long time. It felt so normal. I hope we are all headed in that direction in the year ahead.

Today is the Super Bowl, the championship game for the National Football League. Over the decades, this game has become more than a mere sporting event. It has become a cultural phenomenon.

This week I was coaching a leader who is experiencing performance problems with an otherwise capable team member. The leader was frustrated, perplexed and a little bit angry.

We have a guest writer for this week’s newsletter, my son Ben. Ben is celebrating his 30th birthday in several weeks. To help commemorate that special occasion, I asked Ben to share some of his own ideas on leadership with the readers of this newsletter.

Back in 1985, when I started my job leading the Continuing Legal Education Department at Georgetown Law Center, many well-known speakers were touring the country specializing in particular subjects that appealed to lawyers.

When I was a young leader, I had two primary goals: avoiding conflict and keeping people happy. You could easily say I was a people pleasing leader. These inclinations on my part, as is often the case, came from a childhood characterized by low self-esteem and a desire to fit in.

This past week I was coaching a client from a major international law firm. For quite some time, this person has expressed disappointment at a perceived lack of appreciation by her employer.

Happy New Year to everyone. I hope you are all healthy, safe and warm as we head into 2022 hoping it will provide us sustenance, fulfillment and growth.

This week I want to pay tribute to one of my leadership coaching role models. Dr. Neil Stroul died in October and I participated in an online tribute to Neil this past week.

In January, I am scheduled to give a leadership presentation for a national organization at their meeting in Austin, Texas. At the start of that presentation, I will emphasize that I believe the two most critical elements for excellent leadership are self-awareness and authenticity.

This week I read a brief excerpt on leadership that prompted me to think: “Wow. I could have written that one myself.. It summarizes so well the way I think about leadership, for new leaders and experienced ones.

I hope you all enjoyed a happy and gratifying Thanksgiving. So many people love this holiday because it gives them the opportunity to both express and feel gratitude for all the wonderful things in their lives.

I benefited several weeks ago from a short speech by Ruben Chavez, who runs an organization called “Think Grow Prosper.” Ruben was a speaker for Michael Bungay Stanier’s “Year of Living Brilliantly.”

This week I learned of a quote from Pablo Picasso that reminded me of being a new parent many years ago.

This week I spent a few minutes watching a short video by Susan Cain. Susan is an attorney by training who gained fame for her meaningful book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.”

This week a friend told me about an executive announcing that he was leaving his company after seven years to take a new position with an organization in a different industry. This executive had a passion for a particular kind of work he did not feel he could pursue in his current role.

When I was an aspiring student at Georgetown Law, I strived to become an expert in as many areas of law as I could. That included my first-year subjects: Contracts, Torts, Civil Procedure, Property, and Criminal Law and Procedure. If I could just achieve expert status, I would ace all my exams. This paradigm carried through my three years at Georgetown.

Years ago one of my favorite monthly magazines to read was “Fast Company.” It always included thought-provoking articles about management and leadership. I especially enjoyed the leadership column by Marshall Goldsmith at the end of each issue.

For about a year, I have been privileged to serve as a member of a Montgomery County Advisory Board.

For many years I was fortunate to be friendly with the chaplaincy team at Georgetown University Law Center. As many of you know, I served as an assistant dean there for 32 years.

In the earliest days of this weekly newsletter, which I started almost exactly one year ago, I wrote about leadership being an inside-out process. I said that we first must work on ourselves, particularly our character, before we can ever expect to lead other people.

During our professional leadership journeys, expectations can make or break teams, communication or collegial relationships. They can also create significant happiness or adversity within our families.

Leadership is about setting the tone – in the culture, in the office and in communication. One of the most critical aspects of communication in any organization is meetings. We all need them; we all have them and we all bemoan the proliferation of them.

Leaders are role models. In fact, serving as a role model is one of the most important roles leaders can play. Team members, colleagues and customers look to leaders to role model the values that organizations, departments and divisions articulate orally and frequently post on office walls and on web sites.

This week’s newsletter is being sent on a Friday rather than a Sunday because my wife and I are heading out on vacation this morning. That vacation will include a rendezvous with our younger son and his girlfriend tomorrow and a meet-up with our older son, his wife and our new granddaughter in the middle of next week.

Several decades ago, when I was training to become a facilitator of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” for The Covey Leadership Center (now Franklin Covey), I had to undergo a 360-degree assessment measuring how well I was living up to those seven habits that Stephen Covey laid out in his book.

As we have acknowledged since the start of this weekly newsletter, our leadership growth is represented in unique stories, in journeys we cannot predict.

I found myself reminiscing this week about the recent past and the distant past. As we slowly come out of the pandemic, especially in states like mine (MD) where more people have been vaccinated, I thought back to the few highlights of this past year-and-a-half.

Last week, I wrote about asking the right questions. I quoted my coaching colleague Dan Rockwell, who had posted questions one of his executive coaching clients asked himself and his direct reports after six months of the calendar year.

Leadership is About Asking the Right Questions

Much of our leadership acumen can come from others who study the art of leadership. These days, if you Google leadership blogs, you will find many worthwhile efforts written by leading authors, coaches and speakers. Sometimes it can be challenging to know which blogs to subscribe to.

Have you ever worked with someone who went through life with a victim mentality? I know that I have done so multiple times. It can be a real drag!

This past week I participated in a committee meeting for a national coaching organization for which I volunteer. Happily, it was a very well-run meeting that featured a number of smart, insightful and committed committee members.

On Friday, October 25, 1968, I flew home from Syracuse University early in the morning. I had no special reason to be home that weekend, but my parents gave me the OK. So I flew home to Long Island on the long-gone Mohawk Airlines.

This morning I was reminded of a paper I wrote years ago for the Association of Continuing Legal Education titled “The Job of a Leader is to Develop Other Leaders.” I published this paper on the web when I created my leadership coaching website.

Years ago one of my mentors posed a question to me that I had never heard before: “Would you rather be kind or rather be right?”

As we celebrate Memorial Day this weekend, it is important to acknowledge the sacrifices men and women have made over the years to safeguard our freedom.

Yesterday playoffs commenced in the National Basketball Association. Here in the Washington DC area, where I live, the Washington Wizards made the playoffs for the first time in several years.

I had an interesting coaching experience recently, and it had nothing to do with my leadership coaching clients. These days I am fortunate to be contributing to five different organizations as a volunteer, and frequently I find myself utilizing my coaching skills to help these groups in different ways.

We encounter many leaders in our lives as we forge our own leadership philosophies. Hopefully, we integrate the best lessons from these leaders so we can grow into exemplary leaders ourselves.

Note: This post is a guest post by Sam Cauci, the CEO of 1Huddle. The Newark, NJ-based company specializes in gamification training for companies, government organizations and nonprofit organizations.

This past week, a friend who is a retired federal judge and who knows I love leadership, encouraged me to think and write about leadership and family. My mind immediately drifted back several decades to a conversation I had with a friend while we sat on a bench outside Georgetown Law Center, where I worked for 32 years.

Several years ago my son Jared taught me about the power of gratitude. He informed me that he had begun maintaining a daily gratitude journal.

This week as I was going on my daily walk, I listened to one of Brene Brown’s “Dare to Lead” podcasts. It was a one-hour interview with Adam Grant, the psychologist, author and professor at The Wharton School.

Last night basketball fans watched the semi-final games in the 2021 NCAA Basketball tournament. These semi-final games, also called “The Final Four,” featured the University of Houston vs,. Baylor and Gonzaga University vs. UCLA.

Every once in a while, I read a blog post or receive an email from a friend that resonates with me. This past week I received such an email from my friend Lou Briskman, the former General Counsel of CBS Corporation.

Earlier today I was having a conversation with my son’s college roommate. We are very fortunate that he and his wife live here in the Washington DC area so that we can keep up our relationship with them.

The other day, I was debating with my two sons whether to join an annual NCAA basketball tournament pool that we have all participated in since they were in high school.

Since my two sons, Jared and Ben, were young, I have strived to pass on leadership lessons to them that they could use with friends, in volunteer groups, in college and, now, in their careers.

For 25 years I was privileged to facilitate the workshop, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, “for Georgetown University employees.

Note: Michael Reuter, a leadership thought leader and executive coach, served as Director of the Center for Leadership Development in the Department of Management at Seton Hall University from 2007-2020.

During the past two weeks, I have been thinking about legacies.

I saw two friends pass away during these two weeks, one from ALS and one from cancer. It is tough to participate in a series of Zoom memorial services for two friends during the same week.

Several weeks ago as I embarked on one of my daily walks, I was listening to a podcast about the most essential elements of good leadership. The host and guest were talking about the quality of empathy, a trait I’ve touched upon consistently since I began this newsletter several months ago.

Yesterday as I took my daily walk, I was listening to a podcast interview with Simon Sinek, the prolific author, renowned speaker and international consultant. My sons have gifted me with one of Simon’s books, “Leaders Eat Last.” Simon is truly a deep thinker about leadership.

As we complete a week of transition for our country, we say farewell to the leadership of one administration and welcome the leadership of a new administration.

This past week I was privileged to watch an online keynote interview with Guy Raz, the renowned podcaster and author of a new book based on one of his podcasts, “How I Built This.”

Last week I wrote about the importance of setting realistic and meaningful goals.  This week I want to follow up by sharing thoughts on goals from one of the world’s most respected leadership coaches.

As we enter this new year of 2021, many of us will focus on setting goals for the 12 months ahead.  Leaders can set goals for themselves and for their organizations.

My wife and I have been setting annual family goals for three decades, starting when our children were born.  Each January we divided our goals into categories: family, financial, vacation and travel, physical, mental and spiritual.

We are taking a holiday break this week and will return next Sunday, January 3, 2021.  I hope you are all spending some reflective moments searching for the gratitude you can uncover from this tumultuous year we have all experienced.  As much as we all want 2020 to be over as soon as possible, I encourage you to think about the valuable lessons you have learned this year – about the world, about your friends, family and colleagues, and, most importantly, about yourself.

The words role model are used frequently to describe a leader’s purpose.  Cliches like “walk the talk” describe leaders’ obligations to act on a daily basis just as they would want their teammates to behave.

Last week I wrote about the importance and power of listening for all leaders.  I was surprised and gratified by the many affirming responses I received during the past seven days, including from 28-year-old son.  When you receive positive feedback from your own children, you know you are doing something right!

In 1962, John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote a song that started with these lyrics: “Listen.  Do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell?”
Today I want to share a leader’s secret with you, and I encourage you to tell as many people as possible.

This past week, the historian Doris Kearns Goodwin was talking about the tradition of presidents having graduated from Ivy League universities.
She spoke eloquently about those presidents who did not matriculate at top-tier colleges:

I want to thank you for subscribing to this newsletter with a special Thanksgiving offer.

Yes, even though we continue to experience an unprecedented pandemic, it is Thanksgiving week.

A pandemic need not stop us from indulging in the spirit of this holiday.

Each spring, members of the Jewish faith celebrate the holiday of Passover. The Passover meal is the same one Jesus was celebrating at The Last Supper, the night before his crucifixion.
At this annual celebration of the Jews escaping bondage in Egypt, people ask “Why is this night different from all other nights? “

#1. Own your addiction.

Begin by confessing you’re addicted to people-pleasing. Confess to yourself and to trusted allies. Just say the words, “I’m a people-pleaser.”

#2. Practice saying no before you need to say it.

Roleplay saying no with a trusted ally. (Yes, practice saying NO out loud.)

In his 12-month challenge to leaders from around the world, acclaimed author and coach Michael Bungay Stanier (“The Coaching Habit,” “The Advice Trap”) is presenting short weekly videos in what he calls “The Year of Living Brilliantly.”

It is so easy to become enmeshed in our daily challenges as leaders.  They are right in front of us.

A disappointing employee

An angry manager

Unwelcome financial results

When I was a young leader, I thought that my teammates paid attention to what I said.  If I was clear in my directions and clear in my expectations, I could be confident that they would follow through.

Gossip is a recurring cancer in many organizations, large and small, for-profit and not-for-profit.  It detracts from any efforts to create a high-trust culture.  Yet people at all levels of organizations continue to engage in gossip on a daily basis.

Many of the readers of this leadership newsletter know tht I have served as a licensed facilitator for The Covey Leadership Center, then for Franklin Covey, for 25 years.  During that time, I have been privileged to teach the course, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” to hundreds of Georgetown University employees.

In 2016, The Ken Blanchard Companies released two simple behavior lists associated with trust.  Now, four years later, amid a pandemic, trust is more important than ever.

Last week we talked about ways to build a high-trust culture.  Now we are presenting examples of specific behaviors that will promote – and detract from – the sustaining of trust.

As a leader, you set the tone, whether you lead a large or small team.  Setting the tone means serving as a role model of trustworthiness and trust.

Nothing serves to harm an organization more than a failure of trust, which can raise its ugly head in many ways.

As a leader, you set the tone, whether you lead a large or small office.  Setting the tone means serving as a role model of trustworthiness and trust.

Nothing serves to harm an organization more than a failure of trust, which can raise its ugly head in many ways.

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Bonnie Ware, Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Stop working so hard to fit in.

What is your unique contribution? What do you have that others don’t?

The term “servant-leadership” was initially coined by Robert Greenleaf, an executive for 40 years with AT&T.  Greenleaf was originally inspired by Herman Hesse’s novel “Journey to the East,” which Greenleaf read in 1958.

Unfortunately, many leaders refrain from either learning the tools of effective delegation or employing it as a strategy after they learn it.  There are many reasons cited by otherwise exemplary leaders:

Several years ago, I was having breakfast in Manhattan with my son Jared. As was often the case, we were talking about leadership.

Jared said, “Dad, Ben and I feel blessed with a super-power that you have given us, the power that gives us an advantage compared to other people our age, both at work and in our private lives.“

One of the most liberating insights leaders can ever arrive at is encapsulated in the admission, “I don’t know.”

To accept this premise, they must let go of the need to be “the smartest people in the room.”

For most of the 20^th century, people believed that leaders had to be tough, strict, demanding and accountability-driven.

Results were the most critical element and people were tools to get the jobs done.

As leaders, many of us make a critical error as we undertake our leadership journeys.  We assume that we are ready to lead other professionals because we possess a tangible symbol of leadership: